adjusting well

I've been pretty busy lately, but wanted to post some pictures. This week's lesson is on American culture and adjusting to new cultures. I've believe our team is past the 'honeymoon' stage and in the 'acceptance' stage. It's a good place to be.

Thought requests

Being here in China has affected me in so many ways. I have been forced to grow in areas that I didn't know I needed growth in. My Thought life being the most changed. No one on my team can know me as well as my Father knows me. He knows what I have experience, He knows my desires, and He knows my future. Adjusting to a new culture, getting to know 6 complete strangers, taking on a new profession as an English professor... are all ways to bring someone to the Father.

I am learning to love teaching and find that I actually gain energy from my students and their enthusiam. The days here seem especially long, but I've been in college for the past 4 years, so a 6:15 alarm Monday-Friday can be a little rough. I teach 16 hours a week and have office hours 10 hours a week. Any teacher knows that the job doesn't stop when you get home. I find myself grading papers and looking up exciting items for lesson plans, even when I get home. I have 348 students (with more adding today), so getting to know each one is a daunting task. I have the same classes all year and relationships will surely deepen over time.

Speaking of relationships, some Thought requests. My best friend Cynthia has a brother, Donny. Donny is a great guy, engaged to a great girl Aimee and soon to be married. A week ago he was feeling pretty weak (he's a personal trainer and manager of a Starbucks, so he's buff and highly caffinated- he doesn't know weakness) so he went to the doctor, went to the hospital and was diagnosed Leukemia a couple days ago. I just found out that he's responding well to chemo, but Thoughts for Donny and his family would be much appreciated.

Also... James is in the Congo for 5 weeks with what we like to call "CCC- Chocolate Chip Cookies". He is helping with translations of a popular Film. He is on a team that will translate 5 languages in 5 weeks. Please joing me in Thinking for his safety, effectiveness, and love for the people. He's been waiting for this adventure and I am so glad he's there, doing exactly what he loves to do.

There are more requests on the way soon.

Open Session Questions

As a new foreign teacher, I am asked some common questions. I asked the students to write questions and put them in a hat, I answered them at the end of the lesson, time permitting. Below are the top notes I've received.

13. How much money you go abroad? Because I want to go abroad, so I want to know this question. That's my dream forever. Why is it hard for us to go abroad? -Cathy

12. First your eyes are charming. Second your skin looks very good. How can you do that? -Katherine

11. Nice to meet you! Do you like the super star Jay Z? Which person are you like the most about basketball? How about Yao Ming? I wish we can have a good time in this time. -Rose

10. Miss Allison Ricks, could I make friend with you? Can you tell me your family? Tell you a secret: I very like you! Maybe I hope you are my good friend. -Fiona

9. Do you want to go shopping with me? We can go to Wal-Mart.

8. Do you think you can take me to your hometown? I want to travel very much. It is my dream.

7. If you see a beggar, what do you do?

6. My name is Lydia. Nice to meet you. Welcome to China. I'm really really like English. Please believe me! I think you can speak a beautiful English. Thank you! -Lydia

5. Miss Allison. In this class I hope you can speak slowly. Thank you. (then the redeeming...) Welcome to China. You look very beautiful. (nice touch!) -Mary

4. I speak English not very well. Maybe I don't know how to say sometime. How do you think of my weakness?

3. Your favorite color is red. Why do you dress in black and yellow? Are you hair nature or not?

2. Are you married? Do you have a baby? How old are you? Please tell me.

1. How old are you? Do you like the world-cup in 2006? Do you want to find [a boy (crossed out) live and (crossed out)] marry in China? Do you have a boyfriend?

teaching!

Today I taught. And it went well! Miss Allison is my name, English is my game.

Really, it was such a successful day. My first class was 50 students, the second was 41, and the third was 38 students.

I am one of only 2 foreign teachers on this campus, the other 5 of us are at the new campus. I assigned homework- I never liked when professors assigned homework on the first day, but I did it. Bummer... I know.

The memorable part of the class was the initial "ooooohhhhh" when I walk in the door as their only foreign teacher. It was completely shocking for some, as they've never had a conversation with a Native speaker.

I taught for 6 hours today in a classroom without A/C! I'm exhausted! And this city is so humid, but I'm not complaining. Very fulfilling/challenging/amazing time. I promise to update this blog much more often. Sorry to disappoint you, I just had to do a ton of editing of it. Catch my drift? Many posts have been deleted, my apologies. Goodnight.

overwhelming joy

I met my team! And they're great! I'm not just saying that because some of them mentioned liking my 'blog'. It's true, I love the different strengths they bring to the table and look forward to great friendships with them. We had dinner together as a team, guessed each others middle names (Mikayla is a 'Jo' too!) and talked about past travels. We laughed, shared our hearts and I think simultaneously realized that we've been going the same process together, seperately.
We sang together and it was beautiful to hear the voices of a bunch of 20-somethings crying out in absolute abandonment. I'm pretty tired, but I plan on resting well tonight. I pretty much met my family for next year. We laughed saying that we'll know every freckle on each other's face...it's the 8 of us together everyday for a year. Wow- Psalm 67.

goodbye

It's 10:44 on Thursday and I'm getting ready to meet the team for the first time this afternoon. I'm pretty nervous. I woke up early and went to coffee with Misty, came home. took a shower and then got back in pajamas and sat on the couch with Vince and Cori.. putting off getting ready. I have "Come Thou Fount" (David Crowder Band) playing on Vince's iPod. Last night a group of 7 of us went to Fleming's steak house for our goodbye dinner. We then drove to Mission Beach for one last look at the Pacific Ocean. We came back to Cori's, chatted and said goodbyes. I couldn't fall asleep last night.. it was anxiety about today, sadness at saying goodbye, and excitement for the unknown.
I'm tempted to show up to orientation this afternoon in unmatching clothes, with a big gangster chain around my neck.. I won't of course.. I'll probably check the mirror in Cori's Jetta wondering what my team will think of me. Oh.. first impressions!
It's my hope that I can update this blog overseas, but I'm not sure if that's possible. I'm not sure how many people read this- supporters or otherwise.. I might just switch to a good 'ole paper journal. Cor's making banana bread...Switchfoot's "Let That Be Enough" is playing now- I'm an emotional mess.

recent randoms

august 10th

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
~ Anaïs Nin

road rage confession

Yesterday I spent the afternoon helping Cynthia with her wedding invitations. The process was involved, requiring precision and creativity. I decided that if I get married, that will be a "pay someone to do it" expense. I always thought wedding invitations were easy, I was wrong.

As I was heading out the door to drive home (at 12:15 in the morning) I joked with her brother Donny about our records times from Kingsburg to Kerman. (He dated some Kerman girls years ago.) The towns are both farming communities, with populations around 9,000. The distance is about 38 miles between the two, and the only landmark along the way is the city of Fresno- the rest is wide open country road. He bragged a record of 18 minutes, admitting he was driving "over a buck twenty". My best time is 24 minutes, set 2 years ago, I'm pretty proud of it. It's legit, 24 minutes.

So last night I jumped on the 99 freeway and looked at my clock.. 12:21. I was cruising along, no one else was on the road. I turned up the Classic Rock station and looked forward to getting home. I slowed down for construction zones and overall was making great time, my (alleged) narcolepsy started to kick in, so I rolled down the windows. I got on the 180, and the country road began. Grapevineyards, almond orchards surrounding a two lane highway, big moon in the sky, windows rolled down and steering wheel tapping Classic Rock.. not bad at all.

On this 17 mile stretch of road there is only one opportunity for a passing lane. I got behind a brand new Mitsubishi just before the passing lane started. Great, I thought, as he was traveling slower than I was, it couldn't come at a better time. When the lane started, I waited for him to move over to the slow lane, that didn't happen. So I moved over and started to pass him. That's when he gunned his gas and went well "over a buck twenty" to not allow me to pass. I refused to make eye contact, and definitely did not desire to drive anywhere near 120 mph. When the passing lane ended he slowed down again, considerably. At this point there were a procession of cars so I couldn't cross over to their lane to pass. Two different times, I tried to pass when the road was clear and he again sped up so I couldn't... then slowed down to a crawl of 30 mph when it was impossible for me to pass.

I've NEVER had road rage before. I've sat in hours of traffic in LA, lived in Ft. Lauderdale with infamous Canadian drivers, and travelled internationally with crazy car experiences... but never have I wanted to yell and kick someone in their shin because of their driving.

Maybe it's because it felt so personal. Maybe it's because I was tired, Maybe it's that he ruined my Rock session. Maybe it's because I took well over 45 minutes to get home. Maybe it was because he pulled into the city of Kerman and the only thing I could do was hold down my horn for about 5 seconds. Maybe it was because he was from my little town and I hate to think jerks live here. Lastly, maybe it's because this town is so small- that it's likely I know that jerk.

Whatever the reason, I raged inside. I don't even remotely have anger issues, but if that guy confessed in the grocery store today, I'd want to shake my head and tell him he's rude. The truth is... I'd probably shake my head and then ask "How have you been since high school? How's the family? Do you still have your dog Max? blah. blah. blah." The sad part is that I'd really care about the family and dog and the Mitsubishi driver. And I'd forget about the virtual fight scene I created, while driving 37mph on a 60mph road. For the record, I won the fight, easily.

Here I come!

Excerpt from Walden- Henry David Thoreau

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear, nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion. For most men, it appears to me, are in a strange uncertainty about it, whether it is of the devil or of God, and have somewhat hastily concluded that it is the chief end of man here to "glorify God and enjoy him forever."

As a child I loved the movie, "Dead Poets Society". I loved the poetry, the music, the theatre, and probably the rebellion. My mom can attest that I was often trying to talk a friend into watching it with me, but Nickolodeon usually won out. John Piper's platform in the book "Desiring God" is that the chief end of man is to "glorify God and enjoy Him forever". I read it and was reminded this poem. I wonder if he's a fellow DPS fan. Any others out there?

Dakota and Brody

I'm pretty convinced that I have some of the funniest little cousins alive. My little cousin, Amelia is one of the funniest. She has probably embarassed me on a solid 5 occasions. One time at a big family get together, either Thanksgiving or a birthday party, she looked across the table and said with a straight face, "Alli Jo, were you born with those pimples?" Instant mortification and laughter from everyone at the table. It was pre-college, pimples are expected, right? The only problem is that it comes up over and over again. I'm not sure if she meant to compliment me, but the night before I graduated college she commented that my skin glows like an angel.. how nice I thought. Then she said, "I'm going to call you.....the... REFLECTOR!" Perfect, just perfect.
Today I hung out with Dakota and Brody to give their parents a break. I'll try to capture the car ride to the movie theatre, because I cried laughing. This blog doesn't give justice to their hilarious faces, their timing of jokes, the way that my mom and I would look at each other and cry laughing. Some highlights:

Mom:I hate to break it to you, Brody, but you're not wrapped-tight...
Brody: Yeah, I'm a riptide!

Dakota: Alli Jo, I have 13 trophies!
Brody: No, Dakota we counted them... you got 22.
Dakota: Thank you for your correction.
Brody: I only have 2 trophies...it stinkssss...
Mom: That's ok Brody, Dakota's older...
Alli: Why do you have so many trophies, Dakota? What do you get them from?
Dakota: Oh, cause, I'm a sprinter.
Brody: I'm a vegetarian!
Mom: Brody, we talked about this.. you eat chicken and hamburgers.. you're not a vegetarian.
Brody: Ok, well, I have a joke. Everytime I ask you a question, you answer "rubber buns!" What do you put on your hamburger? Rubber buns! What do you put on your hot dog? Rubber buns! What do you do when you see a girl? Rubber buns!

Brody: You're a doctor right, Alli Jo?
Alli: No, why do you think that, Brod?
Brody: I just thought you were.
Mom: It's because of the color of her shirt, right? Her shirt's green like a doctor?
Alli: No, its just that I'm so smart, Mom.
Brody: No, I just thought you were a doctor...

The funny thing is that Brody still believes he's a vegetarian and we have no idea why he thinks that I'm a doctor. He's going to create a robot that does anything for you like "Go get me a juicebox and it does it!" He is going to price it at 100 dollars, but we convinced him that he should charge more like $5000. He answered, "Fine, I'll charge $99.99." In fact right now he's sitting next to me, reading this. He just put a Post-It on my forehead. I got to go, Brody wants to play marbles. He says I'm going to get smoked!

big transitions

I'm here. In Clovis, California.. a far reach from my life in San Diego. I've tried to be flexible and it seems to be working well. I drove a U-Haul 7 hours from San Diego to Kingburg on Sunday afternoon. I couldn't help but think that it was very close to a therapy session. I was alone, on the road, listening to music (lots of Bob Seger, Phoenix, Rod Stewart, U2, and Third Day) and crying. I'm not a 'crying kid' but I was pretty emotional for that drive. At one point, on the Grapevine that bridges the gap between Los Angeles and the Central Valley, I just turned off the radio, prayed (eyes open), and let myself feel all the emotions. I know that this is a pretty monumental part of life and I might as well feel myself through it. Last Friday I turned in my last college assignment, Saturday I had my last day at Aveda, and Sunday I packed everything and moved from a close family of friends. I can't figure out if that final weekend approach is wise or not, but right now it feels right.
On Monday I went to a funeral for Tony Silva, a friend from high school. The funeral in Kerman was the greatest showing of support I've seen to date. Over 900 people attended to support his wife Toshia and two children Tessa and Trace. They don't know the cause of death, although he had been having problems with diabetes. I can't think of a person from Kerman that wasn't there. Naturally, I cried again when people shared about Tony and his impact on their lives. He was a simple guy that loved his family and his community. My mom and I went to the Kerman Community Center afterward. I saw people I hadn't seen in a solid 4 years, but it wasn't awkward apart from the fact that we were re-connecting at a funeral reception. Additional awkwardness included the warm hellos and hugs from people that were entirely unfamiliar or I could not remember their names. My mom saved the day on one occasion and the other ones I was left floundering wishing I had a better memory. Kerman is such a small town that people get updates from the most random sources. I think some have to be from my grandma at the local post office or at a baseball game, because I just don't know how some of these people know the things they know. Those couple hours at the Community Center really made me appreciate growing up in a town of 7,000. People have really pulled together in hard situations, such as a death of a 24 year old. Toshia is so supported and it was apparent that she is really trusting in it all. She was beautifully gracious, aware, and appreciative of everyone's thoughts, flowers and the dozens of cookies that showed up on their doorstep. I bet I hugged about 250-300 people. That's a lot of quality hugs. And the great question/statement repeated over and over again, "So.... Chinaaaaa?" "Yeah. Let me explain.... "
Today I slept in, my mom made a great egg, turkey bacon and toast breakfast and I lounged the morning away. In the afternoon, my friend Matt and I went to see "Nacho Libre". I liked it. On the way there we hit every red light possible and a rock from a semi hit Matt's truck and cracked the windshield. I was concerned that he'd be put in a bad mood, but we both cracked up laughing. When we got to the theater he took a couple minutes and played a fighting game at an arcade to get out his frustration. We spent the rest of the afternoon at his house, again lounging. He has a coy pond in his backyard, pretty impressive for a house of firefighters I thought.
I'm trying to stay up to date on the bombings in India, because my friend Jen is supposed to fly out in a few days for central India. We couldn't find a new update on TV, I don't think enough attention is given to International news apart from the war in Iraq. My mom, her boyfriend Rod, and I went to Costco. I called Cynthia on the way there and she happened to be down the street shopping. I think Cynthia and I had our first spontaneous hangout. She drove over to Costco and we sat on a Costco leather seat and read a magazine together, while my mom and Rod bought out Costco. Cynthia and I are so used to being long distance friends that we were super excited to just sit and co-read People magazine in the middle of Costco. My mom decided that we're throwing a dinner party tomorrow night. The menu is Chicken Enchiladas (my mom's an INCREDIBLE cook- it doesn't hurt that she taught Home Ec) and Tiramasu for dessert. I made a witty joke that Mexican and Italian food sounded like Cynthia's pairing for marriage. (She's Italian and her fiance is Mexican). Harsh crowd, I barely got a chuckle. I still think that's pretty funny, I'm laughing right now. So tomorrow night some family, Cynthia, and other friends are coming for dinner. This house is perfect for large parties, I'm going to figure out the surround sound soon so we can have a movie night.
I'm spending tomorrow doing pretty perceptually boring stuff, but I'm excited. On the agenda- read the 89 page Instructor's Manual, figure out my digital camcorder, give away a pile of clothes, learn how to make my mom's enchiladas, look into white water rafting at Kings Canyon and get my graduation ring resized.
I miss many things about San Diego and of course the people that live there, but if I continue to dwell on it all, I just would lay in this huge bed and cry. On the ride home from Costco, Rod put the top down on his Jaguar and we turned up the radio for the C-Low song, "Crazy". The sun was setting and the weather was warm with a good breeze. It's the simple things that are making all this change a little easier, driving fast in a car with the top down and a setting sun isn't a bad way to finish off a day.

moving

So, I'm officially moving out of San Diego this Sunday. I reserved a U-Haul, and I'm packing possessions up and going to Kerman for a month. In Kerman, I'll prepare for China, relax (a little), and teach 2 weeks of swim lessons. Then I'm off August 10th. I'm listening to Norah Jones right now, but she's just making me more sad about everything.
In my China support letter I have a typo on the 5th word. So lame if I aspire to be an English teacher! The funny thing is that most of the people that know me well said, "Oh Alli, that's totally something YOU would do!". What does that mean? ;)
Tonight a group of us went to the San Diego Embarcadero to watch the fireworks. From one spot you can see 4 different shows. We brought blankets, water, sandwiches, and sunflower seeds and waited for the show. I laid down on the blanket at one point, all my friends laughing and talking around me, a plane was flying across the blue sky, perfect weather, barefoot, and life felt really simple. I love to extend moments like that. Those are ones you pull from in random times. I thought, "don't forget this one for a long time".
I have some things I want to do before I leave San Diego. I want to go people watching at the airport with Katie, I want to walk down India Street late at night and bring Ray some Jack in the Box 99 cent tacos, I want to ride the trolley one last time, and I want to get a Chai and go to the lookout point on Coronado just for a couple minutes.
I'm finally getting to my reading list that I've been putting off for months.. but the reality is that I want to go back to some old favorites to understand them better.

on my mind.

One day there's going to be this coffee shop called Just Cause Coffee Co. It'll be in a major city- perhaps Portland, Seattle, Boston, NYC, even San Diego. A warehouse style establishment, with brick walls and super high ceilings, with a sizeable stage in the back corner. It'd be non-profit with ALL profits going to social injustice around the world, not just to the organizations, but to actually sending people to be the hands to help. On the walls would be large photos of real people, supported by the shop, serving needs around the world. The employees could work 10 months and go serve 2 months of the year. The coffee and tea mugs would be from actual locations around the world. The tables could have shadow box letters and artifacts from around the world. There would be poetry slams, concerts, and art shows, all benefitting a designated cause. Organizations and individuals could come together in this place. M's could come off the field and recharge, perform spoken word about their experience, encourage supporters, etc. Prayerfully, all operating costs would be given by supporters with the idea that good stewardship of a small amount, can be multiplied into profits for legitimate needs. I'm excited about this one day happening.

I have much more on my mind, but I need to head to bed. More thoughts soon.

yesterday was amazing.

As I fell asleep last night I couldn't help but think of how great a day it was. I woke up at 7am in my new house for the summer. I live with 5 other amazing girls for the next 6 weeks while I'm in summer school. Sure, it's not Little Italy, but I've really appreciate life here. I live in a quiet house with a garage and front yard- contrasting with the 17 story condo with construction in the middle of downtown. Life seems incredibly simple, perhaps it's a good transition. So, I woke up at 7, showered, ate some oatmeal, and walked to school with my roommate Katie. I'm talking two summer school classes: Multicultural Education and Strategic Marketing Managment (talk about a contrast!).
In Multicultural Eduacation we talked about discrimination and racial/gender bias. It was a very interesting discussion and I got to share my Girl Scout affirmative action story. People love that story. In Marketing, we did a day of recap of our last 4 years of learning.. from consumer behavior to finance to accounting to advertising... we recapped it all with a little game of Wheel of Fortune/Jeopardy combo. I was Vanna White for the morning and thoroughly enjoyed my job. My professor kept making little quips about people's answers that only I could hear.. super funny comments.
I walked home from school and Kyle picked me up for a lunch hangout. I talked him into the Cheese Shop, my favorite lunch spot in the middle of the Gaslamp district. The Cheese Shop's great, it's a local restaurant, super affordable, and great atmosphere. They have super high ceiling and the building in made of brick. The employees are down to earth, friendly, and frankly, I'm a regular now. Kyle really liked it and it was great to just catch up with him and talk about topics outside of college. He gave me some great pointers on raising support and I asked him about his responsibility of raising 3 kids.. what he and Wendy have learned over time, etc. Kyle is a perfect fit for San Diego Metro ministry and it's been a real pleasure to get to know him and do ministry together over the past couple of years.
When I got home from lunch I sat on the couch with my laptop to write my discrimination editorial that was homework. That lasted about 20 minutes, when I fell asleep for an amazing nap. I can't remember the last time I was both healthy and sleeping during the day. It was so nice to wake up refreshed.
At 5, my new roommates and I went to La Jolla Shores and went sunset surfing. The water was warm and the waves were decent. I felt a stingray slide past my leg, later to find out that they were pretty abundant because of the warm water. Aside from the stingrays, being in the ocean at near-sunset was so nice and relaxing. At one point, I was sitting on my board pretty far out, the water was calm, the sun felt nice on my face, the late sun glistening gold on the water. I just sat there for a couple minutes.. one of those slow down moments. I'm not artistic, but I seriously wanted to paint the scenery. I felt so grateful... grateful for pretty much everything in my life. The mellowness lasted just a few minutes and I was only interrupted by a great wave forming about 20 feet away. I turned my board around, paddled hard, and caught it. I could have kept sitting on my board and let it pass by, but I didn't. There's a great rush when you're being carried by a wave and I realized that that moment was no 'better' than the peacefulness of a moment before. Life is made up of the relaxing slow times and the crazy adrenaline times and it's not like they sit on opposite ends of some spectrum of enjoyment- instead they're both incredible and meant to be enjoyed for what they are. I think sometimes I value one more than the other..a grass is greener mindset.
When we got home, we all made dinner and sat and watched Grey's Anatomy. I'm not too good at the medical shows, but they really like it and I can see why. I'll admit.. I'm semi-addicted. LOST still has my loyalty though. I also found some support checks I had put in a safe place and had forgotten the safe place's location- such a nice surprise.
I went to bed pretty late, but totally content with the day. If I could find checks, surf, have lunch with a great friend, spend time with incredible girls, and enjoy summer school more often.. that's be ok with me.
I'm going to miss my homeless neighbors in the parking lot, endless trolley stories, Little Italy streets lined with white lights at night, It's A Grind coffee shop, the Embarcadero and watching cruise ships come in from my balcony, and riding my beach cruiser to Gaslamp. I'm taking the trolley to Little Italy right now to turn in my keys to Amanda. Change is good, I have to remind myself of that.

a tribute to the old Kerman by Mel King

....i usually take a drive thru town and get nostalgic for the place i love now and hated then....seriously tho...how many of y'all get to drive your little bro to school on a grey morning when the almond trees are in full bloom lookin like snow....the moss on the old farm houses is neon green...and u can see the snow on the huge mountains miles away that make this the central valley of californaiyae?....anyways....my drive doesnt take very long, i start out by passing a "mural" (really a billboard put up at the edge of the grapevines as u enter town) that says "Historic Kerman" over it and shows a boat on the San Joaquin river that has now been slowed to a trickle because of damming.....right after that is the back of Auto Zone and save mart (blank walls screaming for a REAL (i.e timely, community oriented, thought provoking etc) mural))......and the newly installed, suburban-Tope-colored Perkos Cafe and something i believe called Video Zone that must be our new corporately owned video store since the locally owned video store that had been around forever went out of business a few years ago....then comes Taco Bell, where a sign says they are "now hiring friendly people".....ah yes, kerman...where the 98Cent store is having a clearance sale, and you can get your hair cut at a place called "good haircuts".....as i finish my drive and round the corner where there used to be an old horse we liked to pet over the fence...I see its now called Quail Run (ive never seen a quail here in my life...) and there are track homes where the horse and grapevines used to be......

commencement complete.

The title of this post is a contradiction because commencement means beginnings, but I can't help feeling like more things are coming to an end. I am so emotional lately, something very new to me. On Thursday before my last final I found myself with my face in the pillow on my bed listening to Norah Jones- that translates to depression. So I jumped out of my bed and went for a walk in downtown. I know that this will all pass, but it's hard to say goodbye to almost everything I know right now.
I'm most definitely excited about China, but I'm also very aware that it will stretch and challenge me along the way. I don't know anyone going, I don't know the language, should be interesting.
The last couple days have been a blur.. I'll try my best to recap. Thursday I had my last final, which comprises the solo A of this semester (I've never gotten such a low GPA ;) After we finished, we went to our graduation party already in progress. It was a super overcast afternoon on South Mission Beach, but there were so many people at the bonfire to celebrate. It was great to share the party with 7 other graduates and just to laugh and enjoy the company of good friends. Afterward, Vince, James and I went to Denny's for some marching down memory lane. There was a little 3 year old celebrating his birthday at midnight. His dad was wearing an ivory net t-shirt.. it appeared to be the same material as a basketball net.. and they had a huge cake that they cut up and gave to people in the Denny's.. it was all very strange. Tourists for SURE.
Friday morning I worked at Aveda with Ashlyn, we always have a really good time at work- productive, of course, but fun. Friday afternoon my mom, grandma, and sister came into town for the graduation festivities. We went out to dinner, but before we did my mom gave me a graduation present. I think I stuttered when I opened the box.. an Emerald cut pink Tourmaline ring with 26 tiny diamonds surrounding it.. so amazingly beautiful. The above picture isn't the exact ring, but it's pretty close. The ring itself has been a joke for well over a year. Whenever I'm in Fresno, we'd stop by Rogers Jewelers and they'd let me walk around with it on... never believing I'd ever have it. I'm not an expensive jewelry wearer, but this ring is quite nice.
Friday night a group of friends and I went out for drinks.. We went to Yardhouse, until it closed. Then to Cafe Lulu, until it closed and then we finished off the night dancing in the streets to music from Vince's stereo. I learned my limit on celebration champagne, enough said about that night.
Saturday morning I graduated at 8 am, on 1 1/2 hours of sleep. I was struggling staying awake during the ceremony. I got an energy pill from a girl and it definitely helped out. The people there for my graduation was a great group of ladies.. my mom, grandma, sister, Aunt Kathy, cousins Amelia and Daisy, and Regina. We picked up Jen after the ceremony and went to Cafe 222 for brunch. My little cousin Amelia is pure comedy. The tourmaline products from Aveda that guarantee radiance must be working because 9-year old Amelia said that she's going to call me 'The Reflector'. She said I'm always glowing "like an angel, Alli Jo". I don't know if I want to be called 'The Reflector', but I appreciate her acknowledging any radiance. She's the same little one that 3 years ago at our huge Thanksgiving asked when the table got really quiet, "Alli Jo, were you born with those pimples?" Talk about an observant, inquisitive little one.. the stories go on and on with interactions between Amelia and I. After the graduation ceremony, I took off the cap and gown and she begged me to wear it. I loved watching people's reactions thinking this 9 year old must be some sort of genius. She walked so confidently through crowds of people, staring at this little girl owning her graduate status.
I was so tired Saturday afternoon, I don't know if I had more than 5 hours of sleep any given night for the past week and a half, so I feel asleep watching TV at 4 in the afternoon.
Now, I'm home.. doing laundry, cleaning up from the whirlwind of family, watching the news (I can't believe Ray Nagin got re-elected!) and trying to take in the last week. It was odd at the graduation party on Thursday saying good-bye to people I'll potenitally never see again... people that have really influenced me over the past 4 years. Sure, it's part of life, but it doesn't mean that it's easy.
I'm so excited to see what the future holds, but I also want to not forget the incredible memories, lessons, and people of college. Laying on my bed with my face in the pillow and Norah Jones playing on my computer doesn't help, I guess..but I feel like a little Norah right now.

commencement prep

the last few weeks have been pretty emotional for me. i've been so busy, but have also desired to write about them to help me remember what i'm feeling and thinking.

about two weeks ago we had our last CRU meeting. it brought a lot of closure for me, and in some ways it felt like that night i graduated. the night started with the band of Josh, James and Donnie. it was so fun just to be with good friends and sing out in the classroom, i kept thinking that it was sweet smelling incense to Him. next, each graduate was introduced by a person they had influenced over the years. i was reminded how impactful we are as leaders and upperclassman, and how often times the small stuff is what sticks in people's lives. jen intro'd me and said some super nice and thoughtful things. ariel jumped up to add on some final thoughts.. it was great because we're three different ages and share the same sense of humor. after we were intro'd we shared 5 things that we've learned in college. sean rapped about his college experience and called me up to beat-box. i made a fool out of myself..an absolute fool. i think my beat was super lame and eventually tailed off because i was trying to hear why everyone was cracking up at sean's words. all that to say, it was so much fun.

after the little speeches, we had a great slideshow that vince prepared. it had new orleans, urban immersion, australia, imperial beach, ensenada, kickball, gap nights, thailand and so much more. i was so happy to look around the room and see most of my closest friends smiliing and watching the screen. i got home that night and cried.. i cried because i realized how much i love these people, how much i'll miss 'running into' them on campus, how i've truly shared life with them.

i've had people congratulate me on graduation and frankly i'm waiting for the sweet part of bittersweet to come into play. right now the only positive aspect is that i won't be bubbling in scantrons on a weekly basis. being a college student affords us many opportunities we wouldn't otherwise have. we can be irresponsible, we can skip obligations to grab coffee, we can hear incredible (and often boring) lectures on real world conflicts, we can be activists on almost everything, we can have an empty bank account and laugh, we can stay up late and talk, and dream about the future together. i'm so lathargic right now, it's good that i'm writing, it helps.

tomorrow at 1:30 i have my final interview .. then i'll know for sure about going to China!

the other day on the trolley i had a funny experience. i was on my way to aveda for our PURITY event. we had to wear all white. i was wearing a great linen white skirt, a white tanktop with a cashmere white cardigan on top. i had on white bohemian flat sandals and a white shell bracelet on. i had on silver angel wing earrings.. really trendy from a local boutique.

i got on the trolley aware of my appearance which contrasts sharply with the red interior, not to mention the attire of others onboard. there i sit in white head to top, my hair tied back, legs crossed and angel wing earrings and i pulled out Tozer's book to read which has in large font, "The Pursuit of G" as the title. The man sitting across from me, looks up from his book to look at mine.. his eyes go upward to my face where he looks at each ear and then he looks at me with the widest eyes. i think he repented that very moment. ha.

it's 12:43 and i just woke upself because i fell asleep sitting up on my couch. i am so very tired.

Shawn Haggerty met Jacob.

I am so thankful that I got to meet Jacob.

For those of you who have seen Invisible Children, you know Jacob as the 14 year old boy who cried after being asked what he would say to his brother who was murdered by the LRA. The one who said he had nothing, and that he would rather die than stay on earth.

When I first watched Invisible Children, it was this moment in the film that broke my heart and changed my life. When he cried, it was a cry of real, raw pain, the kind of pain most of us, especially me have never come close to feeling. Something inside of me snapped and I realized that this is REAL, and its happening NOW. Inexucusable atrocity and horror. All I could do was silently apologize to the Jacob on the screen, crying tears of regret. How could I have turned my eyes away for my 19 years and done nothing? Right there I promised that I would never again live that way, unfeeling and apathetic.

So that was February 9th..
And yesterday was April April 27th..

And I got to meet Jacob.

We were at the Invisible Children offices, standing in the hallway with a few of the people who work there, and Jason and a boy walk out of the office. Jason goes, "have you guys met Jacob?" and I saw a very familiar shy face looking at me. And immediately my heart was in my mouth. Jacob? Could it be the same Jacob who forever affected me, who I cried for and prayed for, who I apologized to and promised to never look away from? And there he was, shaking my hand with a shy smile and then reaching to hug me. They had flown him from Uganda to the states for the GNC, getting him a passport last minute.

I was truly in that moment. I was right there, my heart and mind and soul, all of me was right there in that hug. It was a moment planned by Him. A gift to me, a gift to him. Theres so much I could say if I had hours but I just had a moment, and I took it. Its so hard to put into words, but moments like those tell me I am on the right track, that there is nothing more important than people and compassion. Everything else fades into the background. The fact that I am flat broke, the fact that I have a million finals and papers coming up and no time this weekend to start, the people who have been bugging me or hurting me lately.. Its all gone. It might make no sense but I really experienced Him in that moment. I'm learning more and more that He doesn't make sense to me, or that I can't make sense of Him, and it makes Him all the more wonderful and mysterious. It was like a taste of what it is to fulfill my purpose. Jacob was only one, but he represents the hundreds of thousands of war-torn kids in Uganda. I plan to hug all of them.

Amazing.

invisible children

This Saturday is the Global Night Commute, as a peaceful protest to the US' inaction regarding the child abductions in Uganda. It is also a great way to raise awareness. The pictures are ways that we (CCC students) have raised money to help. I'm excited to watch Oprah this afternoon. The three filmmakers from San Diego are going to be on her show.

priesthood

The timing! In Christianity, we compared and contrasted the Catholic and Protestant faiths. Tonight on Larry King LIve, there were 2 full-time priests, a former priest that left and became married and John MacArthur (a pastor). Interesting discussion that asnwered many questions for me.

http://www.cnn.com/CNN/Programs/larry.king.live/

late nights

I love those days where you think you know what will happen, and things change. The unexpected is great. I woke up early-ish and went on run to the bay. Downtown mornings are so great. The streets are full of produce trucks for the restaurants, people rushing to work, dogs getting their morning walks, and sometimes the random person who is still experiencing the previous night. I came back, took a shower and spent the next 2 hours handing out surveys for Marketing Research. The local business owners were super nice and willing to take the 10 minutes. I found some businesses that I didn't know existed. I walked into 'The Pilates Room' and the place looks more like torture than a workout. I heard that's what Demi Moore uses, so the torture is apparently worth it.

I came back home and had great intentions.. I was going to figure out HRBlock's website and finally file my taxes. I think there were some compatibility issues with my mac, so I abandoned that idea and popped in Amanda's season one of LOST. Needless to say- it's addicting. There goes a very productive two hours of my day. I was supposed to have a group meeting for a case study in my International Strategic Management class, but one of the guys cancelled. It was at that point I realized my almost comedic grocery situation. Honestly, the only things I owned in the refridgerator were condiments.. and the only thing in the pantry was some cornbread mix and spaghetti. I boiled the spaghetti and then searched for something to go on it. My best option was raspberry vinegarette... my mom the former Home-Ec teacher would be so disappointed. It was at this point I called Vince and asked a gigantic favor- a ride to Trader Joe's.

The bummer about being carless is doctors appointments (I don't think I've even had one, but it'd be hard if I did), grocery shopping, and hanging out with friends. I just pictured myself going to Ralph's in downtown with my backpack.. buying enough to fill it, and riding my bike back home. It'd take at least 4 trips to pull off a legitimate trip to the store. By the last trip they'd know me by name.. you better believe.

This rarely happens, but sometimes the reality of being home alone in a big city.. well, it sets in. The fear is usually triggered by something scary. I had been watching another episode of LOST and it ended on a mysterious note. When I get scared, I make as much noise as possible. I start a load of laundry, run the diswasher, put on the radio and vaccuum. I don't actually do all of those things. The dishwasher or laundry hum is great comfort.

My eyes are closing and my head will soon hit the keyboard, so i'll go to bed now..

rock in her friend's shoe...

I've been extra tired lately. It's the second round of midterms, I'm working more hours, and I've had company in town the last two weekends.. no wonder! My birth-weekend (it was definitely a drawn out event) was great. I felt super loved by family and close friends. On Saturday night we (Cynthia, Mom, Emily, Rod, Wielands, Nazaroffs, Cori, James, Vince, and I) went to dinner at Miguel's on Coronado. Afterwards some of us went to National Comedy Theatre to watch an improv show. The next morning, about 20-25 of my closest friends went to Extraordinary Desserts for a morning coffee/brunch. It was so great to look down the table and see the faces of people that that influenced me so much in college. Old roommates, co-workers, friends from CRU, friends from Kerman.. all sitting together and laughing. It made me happy. My college friends chipped in on a great gift- a black Nikon camera with 6.2 megapixels and 5x zoom! The card cracked me up. It said something like "On March 29, 1984 a baby girl was born. (My birthday is actually the 30th ha ha) Her name was Allison Ricks. The Jewel in her mom's eye.. the Rock in her friend's show.. and the hope for the China Man..." There was a picture of me standing with a Thai shop owner that I had bartered a wooden elephant with. We're both grinning from ear to ear. Probably my cheesiest picture. Rock in her friend's shoe... What the heck?!

I spent Friday night and Saturday with my childhood best friend, Trisha and her husband Sean. They live in Kansas City, Missouri and attend school on the campus of IHOP. It was fun to get sushi with them and talk about all that our Father is doing around the world. Trisha has this way of telling stories- she fills them with unnecessary details, until she loses track of the subject. It was funny to have her tell a story, switch subjects quickly, fill it with details.. until I finally have to admit that I'm completely lost. She has been an incredible friend to me. I can't count how many times we laid on the trampoline in my backyard and talked all night.. rollerbladed every sidewalk in Kerman, and swam in my grandma's pool. It's great to see her happily married. Her husband Sean is a perfect match.. they're hilarious together. It's hard to believe, but they both talk so much that I barely got a word in. They flew in to San Diego because they were spending a week in Ensenada on a trip. The last time I saw them was at their wedding last summer, so it was a fun mini-reunion.

I need to do my taxes, do 50-75 surveys in downtown for Marketing Research, study for Operations Management, do laundry, and pass these classes. Last week I got my cap and gown for graduation.. it was weird to think that I'm almost done. James just told me we only have 40 days left. I think I'm going to run to the bay for the next 40 days until we graduate. It'd be great to have a devo every morning on the water. It has become a morning ritual to have coffee on the balcony looking at the water.. this will only be an improvement. 40 days.. wow.

Turning 22.

Yesterday I turned 22... from here on out birthdays are a tally mark. Wait, I think at 25 you can rent a car... that'll be an exciting one. :)
I feel like I should do a run down of the day... so I will. I woke up early for my regular Thursday accountability coffee with Lisa. I look forward to spending time with Lisa, so I was happy to kick off a birthday with her. She told me that she'd pick me up at 8. Usually I just walk the 3 blocks to "It's a Grind", but she said that it was supposed to rain the next day. I looked up the forecast on weather.com and she was wrong, but I'm notorious for ruining things, so I let her be sneaky. She took me out to a fun breakfast in Hillcrest at the City Delicatessean.. New York style! Conversation never lulls with Lisa and we had a great time.
She drove me to the Old Town trolley stop and I made the train by a minute (that kind of timing only happens on your birthday). I had a great ride and studied my ugly "Effective Public Relations" book for my test that afternoon. Let me say this- Public Relations does not need it's own class. The field is narrow and I could summarize the entire practice in 2 lectures... not the 16 weeks I'm currently experiencing. My professor wrote the book so everything is testable. I won't get too into it, but let's just say that it's ANNOYING.
Anywho.. I love the random birthday calls that occur. People you haven't heard from since 7th grade call you. It's a beautiful holiday. The student sitting in front of me I guess was listening in on my conversations and right before getting off at SDSU, he turned around and said, "Happy Birthday.. so you're moving to China". We both laughed. Then I got up and threw my backpack at the same time this small Mexican woman was getting up from her seat and I elbowed her head. I apologized profusely, but there was a language barrier. My spanish kicked in with "Lo siento... lo siento". She just nodded and held the side of her head. That was a convo-killer with my new trolley friend. He just walked off and waved.
I ran into some friends and tried to study more PR... eventually I just decided that I had mastered the material (without ever reading the last two chapters).. and started answering the Happy Birthday phone calls.
I took my PR test and the essay question was on a theory that I had read, comprehended, and eloquently reiterated. It was a beautiful essay and the 75 MC were easy enough. So far, so good on this birthday.
Once my scantron was handed to Professor Broom, I went to Chipotle for lunch with James, Sean, Ben and Ben's friend. James bought me lunch and we talked about thrill-seeking sports..ie skydiving, bungeejumping, etc. They're pretty adventerous guys so it was a fun topic.
Then I had Marketing Research with Professor T(for short, in case he ever Googles himself, he'd fail me). This guy is seriously the most defensive guy I know. He takes everything personally. Asking, "Could you clarify this test question, I don't think I understand what it's asking"... you might as well be saying, "Professor, I don't understand anything through your thick Indian accent. You haven't mastered the English language... you probably shouldn't be teaching.. you're so dumb". That's not what I believe.. but that's how he reacts. It's the strangest thing. This guy is a legend at SDSU.. people warn each other about him. I thought he can't be that bad.. HE IS. He gave back our tests from the previous week and everyone had done poorly, because his wording of questions is so difficult. His English is not that advanced, so he forgets words like "a" and "the". Example: "Hello my name Professor T. Today we study how sample and how pick size." It's hard to take tests like that. It was 2.5 hours of him defending issues that were never mentioned. I'm feeling like this post is very negative... but I'll type onward.
I had Christianity next. We talked about Pluralism, Buddhism, and the similarities between the Cross and the lotus from a scholarly perspective.
I went to CRU and it was a very candid night. Asking ourselves questions like, "Are we fulfilling our call on this campus? Are we acting like a transformational community? What has gone wrong? What does the Bible say about these issues? Are we a prayerful movement? Are we acting like a movement?" It was deep.
Afterwards, about 10 of us.. including Kyle went to Cold Stone for some birthday ice cream. After that, Sean, Vince and I went to Yardhouse for a couple hours. They're humorous.
This weekend, my family and some friends from Kerman are coming to SD. I'm having a breakfast at Extraordinary Desserts on Union Street on Sunday morning. There's a stickball tournament in the streets of Little Italy on Sunday so that'll be fun to watch. I'm excited that about 30 friends are coming for the brunch. I feel extremely blessed by my friends. They're so good to me. This weekend should be rather interesting.

Kate Boland writes...

Sitting in 4 day old jeans that've traveled through airports and towns in a 7 passenger van that defied all rules of capacity. From New Orleans to D.C. to L.A. and back here to San Diego.

This past week was a journey, a story, an encouragement and a frustration. Led by Campus Crusade for Christ 12 friends and I flew to New Orleans to do Hurricane Katrina relief work for our Spring Break. We stayed at Light City in the 9th Ward, which is basically the Compton of New Orleans. In a warehouse with 2500 other college students from across the country we slept on cots and bathed in makeshift showers. Let's just say we know how many water bottles it takes to wash your hair and I now have a new definition of clean.

The story of the storm was told on every building and house through a spray painted x with numbers and letters on each side indictaing the date the place was searched, how many evacuees, the number dead found and number of animals found. It was a bit hard to imagine the eeriely quiet, desolate state of New Orleans as a thriving community. No sounds of dogs barking or children playing, the streets still filled with abandoned cars, front doors open to empty homes many people will never return to.

We spent 4 days working, gutting and clearing out houses that were ruined by Hurricane Katrina. Breaking down sheet rock, taking out nails, prying base boards off and doing what we could to rid the home of the mold and debris that seemed to infest the place. We wore lovely masks, made huge piles of trash in front of the house and saw awesome snowflake patterns of every color of mold you could imagine. It was hard work, disgusting and amazing.

Our last day in town we went about 2 miles from Light City to the Lower 9th Ward, which is right next to the levee which broke and got hit the worst. Mounds of debris and decaying wood lined the streets. Roofs detached, wrecked cars on top of eachother, stuck between or underneath houses, some houses pushed from the floodwater to the middle of the street. Remnants of what used to be homes and memories and peoples lives piled up in hills of trash. Most all the people we met told us how different and depressed people have been since the storm and were super appreciative for our help, though we all felt it was the least we could do.

I arrived and left the 9th Ward thinking 'This is not America." 6 months after the devastation of Katrina and most of the city still looks as if the storm hit last week. Where is everyone? Where is all the help? There just seems to be so much destruction and so little help. And this is where frustration entered. Upset by the conditions, annoyed by the lack of aid and most of all disappointed in America. A nation that claims to be the best of all looks to be too busy to help it's own country. So we know the response to Katrina was late and insufficient from the President and Government. Okay. Now get your act together and do something. Act on your beliefs and bring about the change that only gets talked about too much. Get your hands dirty. Listen to real stories of loss, love and hope. And take action to help our neighbors.

I know that this change starts with me. Acting upon my beliefs. Doing more and talking less. This trip will stay with me the rest of my life. Because it wasn't just a spring break or a relief trip. It was an experience. Trying to understand the faith and the pain. A lesson. About what a true servant is and what it means to be humbled. About real lives and hearts and stories. It was about community. The 13 of us working, laughing and getting lost together, becoming a family over the week. And it was an awakening to what's really going on in New Orleans, in the world and in my heart.

Wow. I guess this is what happens when your life is changed by something, all these words just flowing out from somewhere.

back home

I got home from New Orleans early this morning. It was a great trip that taught me so much, and reinforced things I'm already learning. If I had to throw a theme on this year of college, I think it'd be something like, "Life:Simplified". Last May when I went to Thailand was probably the beginning. I saw and encountered people that had lost every single thing they owned. When I got back from Asia, I lived with my grandmother for the summer. Life there was simple, to say the least. I taught swim lessons in the mornings and went on walks with her in the evenings. On weekends, I went to BBQs at friend's houses. When I moved back to SD, I didn't have a car. That's an instant simplifier. Friendships went through changes and gained clarity. School is definitely harder, but now that I'm a senior I think I've finally grasped some time management and study habits that are making 19 units bearable.
And all last week, was spent in the 9th Ward of New Orleans (Google it for more details). We visited where the levee broke and the houses were completely wiped out. We saw houses lifted from their foundation, moved into the street, with cars underneath. My first thought was that it looked like a war zone. The same thing kept ringing through my head.. that the things of this world fade. That we can accumulate and store possessions, but they don't last. I could work in Marketing and make a lot of money, and have nice things, but I wasn't put on this earth to have a huge home and Egyptian cotton sheets. I was put here to serve others. I don't know exactly what that means right now, but it'll come in time. I'll write more about New Orleans when I find time, it was definitely an experience I want to write about sometime soon.

8 months

On July 7th, 2005, I got in a gnarly car accident that ultimately left me carless. Granted, this was a decision I made- not the car accident (I was rear-ended), but the decision to not get a new car. I was moving into a Little Italy condo, working at Fashion Valley and going to SDSU (all with trolley stops).. so it made sense to try the SD metro system. Besides, I work for Aveda... they love that I'm so eco-friendly.
Tonight I was reading "To Own A Dragon", a new book by Donald Miller with my feet up on the seat, when a guy got on the green line and started yelling. He said, "The chronic has arrived. Let all be pleasured." I had to do the silent laugh. He had a joint held carefully between his pointer and thumb, as he gently swayed it back and forth to the 4 passangers on board. The smell of it filled the whole trolley car.. and I have to admit that I like the smell. I wish I didn't, I've never partaken of marijuana, but I'm always the first to say "weed" when it enters my nasal cavity. At that point everyone sniffs the air and says, "Oh yeah, sure is". Then it's always fun to guess its origin, usually it's the guy with his eyes 1/2 open, chuckling to himself, and not looking at anything in particular.
So then the Chronic Man looks at his girlfriend and informs her that he's a "dog in heat". Next, a 'lady' starts yelling in Spanish and I notice at that point that she isn't a lady, but a man dressed in drag. I'm so taken aback that I didn't notice the manly characteristics right away, that I only remember the word "Tijuana" from her/his entire rant... a rant directed at no one in particular. The business woman across the way looked super scared. She stared back at me with wide eyes.. unbuttoning and rebuttoning her business casual blazer and checking her phone every 20 seconds.. even though no one was calling. At that point it hit me. This doesn't shock me anymore. Over the last 8 months of this nonsense, I've grown to think of it as entertainment instead of horror. I've learned that homeless men and women don't necessarily want a handout, they really want an ear to listen. That tourists are some of the nicest people on earth. That it's healthy to take time and unwind from a long day..even if it's forced by a 30-40 minute trolley ride. I've learned that trolley cops that work for the Metro Transit Board, think they are actual police officers and grip their ticket books when they get really upset. But tonight as I sat and looked at the Mexican drag Julio/Julia.. and the Chronic Man with his girlfriend.. and the scared business woman.. that in the eyes of God- he loves us all equally. I've earned no extra points because I've attempted to serve him the last 11 years. I've done nothing to earn this beautiful salvation. I'm still a sinner, just as much as the next person. But I'm experiencing a wonderful thing called grace.
A local journalist just wrote about her 'carless experiement' in San Diego Magazine. She attempted to live 2 weeks on the Metro system. She made it 12 days. She also had 2 small children, but I think my 8 months deserve some credit.
When I was walking home, I got this overwhelming sense of thankfulness. I think I'm really enjoying life lately, partly because I'm experiencing sharing life with others, partly because I'm asking for the Holy Spirit's presence constantly.
I looked at the white lights that line Little Italy and then it started to do that really light sprinkle. I walked slower, because since I've been little, I've loved walking in the rain. I started humming Lisa Lobe's "You Say".. and then I smiled that giant grin for no reason at all. I was the only person walking down Columbia Street, and it was so great. I think it's in those moments, when you feel alone in a big city (literally and figuratively in this case) that I felt like it was just God and I. And I felt like he really wanted me to just enjoy Him, feel his unconditional love for his creation, and throw down some great raindrops.. because he knows I like them.

cigarette stealing

Get ready for a funny observance. It's 9am this morning, and raining hard. I decide to wear my rainboots- functional and stylish. The trolley stop is about 3-4 blocks away so I ran through the streets. People around me are dodging puddles, I'm stepping right into them. I feel like a carefree little kid.

I arrive at the stop and stand next to a homeless man with a hole in his sweatshirt with rain dripping in. I'm pretty sure he's cold and irritated. The trolley is on its way and you can hear its horn a little off. The man looks anxious. He darts across the tracks to the other side and grabs a cigarette right out of the mouth of a lady... and he darts back to our side, narrowly missing the trolley. Before the trolley blocked my view of her, I saw her jaw wide open, realizing she had her cigarette stolen right out of her mouth. He smoked it and looked back at her.

I have never heard of such a thing. How much do cigarettes cost? That someone would risk their life and steal one from the lady across the tracks.

I saw it live.

work to quit or live to give?

Why is there no light in the freezer? Why do you have to open the fridge so you can see in the freezer at night? I got home from SD poetry slam, opened my freezer for just one spoonful of Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia. I just stood there wondering why it wasn't lit... did our bulb go out? Then I realized I'm not a late night ice cream kid, and in fact there is no freezer bulb to replace. Interesting I thought.

Rudy won at Voz Alta tonight.. again. The guy's a genius. www.collectivepurpose.com

Mondays are always interesting. I woke up late, actually I snoozed one alarm, and my phone (the backup) was on silent. As I was rushing to work, I contacted STA travel to see if we could get better fares than the 373 we were quoted by another travel agency. I worked all day and met some super interesting people. This one girl read the sign in the window about raising money for Hurricane Katrina Relief. (The sign is promoting 'stress relieving massages for Katrina relief'. The money raised will go towards plane tickets and other transportation once we get into New Orleans. She came in and I gave her a neck, temple and hand massage. We started talking and I got to share about what we'll be doing in New Orleans.. how it's an amazing parternship with Habitat for Humanity and FEMA. Then we talked about the tsunami and I talked about the Moken people. All of that to say that she was in Campus Crusade for Christ at UCSD in '99. It was so great for her to hear that transformational stuff is still going on. Naturally, she was encouraged too.

I got a call from STA this afternoon on my walk home.. a flight from LAX to New Orleans with a layover in Washinton/Dulles... 263 total with taxes and all. Such an incredible price. The 10 other I'm going with are pretty stoked about the 100+ savings.

This afternoon I took the trolley home and met some super nice teachers from Virginia.. that are here for a conference. I recommended Little Italy restaurants to try out.. we chatted it up and I acted as tour guide as we passed USD and Old Town. This older man kept nodding and smiling at me. There's people that nod and smile and then look away and there's those that hold the look- he was a holder. I got off the trolley to switch lines and he said, "Alright Allison, have a great afternoon." I stopped in my tracks... "how the heck did he know my name?" He was a nod and smile guy and now I was the shaking head, puzzled expression girl. I saw a girl that transferred the same time as I did. I said, "I don't know that guy, but he knows my name. He just said 'Allison'. " I was pretty distraught.. and all she said was, "Maybe the cup...." In my hand was a Starbucks Iced Coffee with my name. Mystery solved.

This afternoon it was raining and when it rains, I get artsy. I have this old pair of jeans.. the ones I've worn so much that the lines rips aren't creating my some factory worker.. I put them there. I thought they'd look really different if I cut the waistband off, making them lower and an unfinished top. Lesson learned. Waistbands keep your jeans banded around you waist. Without them.. you pants fall off. Katie called me to go to Voz Alta the very second I got out of the shower. I threw some mascara on, my new jeans creation, a zippie, and my rainboots and ran out of the door. I spent the night keeping my pants up. I don't know if any of my creative endeavours have been successful, now that I think about it.

One of the poets tonight asked "do you work to quit or live to give?" I've been thinking about it since.