May 16, 2006

commencement prep

the last few weeks have been pretty emotional for me. i've been so busy, but have also desired to write about them to help me remember what i'm feeling and thinking.

about two weeks ago we had our last CRU meeting. it brought a lot of closure for me, and in some ways it felt like that night i graduated. the night started with the band of Josh, James and Donnie. it was so fun just to be with good friends and sing out in the classroom, i kept thinking that it was sweet smelling incense to Him. next, each graduate was introduced by a person they had influenced over the years. i was reminded how impactful we are as leaders and upperclassman, and how often times the small stuff is what sticks in people's lives. jen intro'd me and said some super nice and thoughtful things. ariel jumped up to add on some final thoughts.. it was great because we're three different ages and share the same sense of humor. after we were intro'd we shared 5 things that we've learned in college. sean rapped about his college experience and called me up to beat-box. i made a fool out of absolute fool. i think my beat was super lame and eventually tailed off because i was trying to hear why everyone was cracking up at sean's words. all that to say, it was so much fun.

after the little speeches, we had a great slideshow that vince prepared. it had new orleans, urban immersion, australia, imperial beach, ensenada, kickball, gap nights, thailand and so much more. i was so happy to look around the room and see most of my closest friends smiliing and watching the screen. i got home that night and cried.. i cried because i realized how much i love these people, how much i'll miss 'running into' them on campus, how i've truly shared life with them.

i've had people congratulate me on graduation and frankly i'm waiting for the sweet part of bittersweet to come into play. right now the only positive aspect is that i won't be bubbling in scantrons on a weekly basis. being a college student affords us many opportunities we wouldn't otherwise have. we can be irresponsible, we can skip obligations to grab coffee, we can hear incredible (and often boring) lectures on real world conflicts, we can be activists on almost everything, we can have an empty bank account and laugh, we can stay up late and talk, and dream about the future together. i'm so lathargic right now, it's good that i'm writing, it helps.

tomorrow at 1:30 i have my final interview .. then i'll know for sure about going to China!

the other day on the trolley i had a funny experience. i was on my way to aveda for our PURITY event. we had to wear all white. i was wearing a great linen white skirt, a white tanktop with a cashmere white cardigan on top. i had on white bohemian flat sandals and a white shell bracelet on. i had on silver angel wing earrings.. really trendy from a local boutique.

i got on the trolley aware of my appearance which contrasts sharply with the red interior, not to mention the attire of others onboard. there i sit in white head to top, my hair tied back, legs crossed and angel wing earrings and i pulled out Tozer's book to read which has in large font, "The Pursuit of G" as the title. The man sitting across from me, looks up from his book to look at mine.. his eyes go upward to my face where he looks at each ear and then he looks at me with the widest eyes. i think he repented that very moment. ha.

it's 12:43 and i just woke upself because i fell asleep sitting up on my couch. i am so very tired.

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