December 13, 2006


I'd be lying if I said moving to China was a smooth transition. I've come to the realization that I was (and probably am) quite spoiled. I took for granted freedoms (to meet, speak, etc), air conditioner/heater capabilities, water coming out of a faucet, warm showers, soft couches and beds, internet access, etc. I assumed that life had those things. I didn't expect the staring (at us 'foreigners') or to be treated differently.

Today I had such a frustrating experience at the copy shop. A 5 minute service turned into a 35 minute test of my patience and levels of anger. I stomped in the copy shop like a spoiled American (no one noticed because they were staring at my face and speaking loudly in Chinese) but the point is that I stomped. I felt so much anger and hostility in that moment and longed to be back in America where I could be anonymous and warm and understood. I wanted a hot shower, down comforter and a soft bed. I wanted to be in a public place and understand the language, and I wanted to express my anger to the copy machine guy.

I got home and the internet was down and no water was coming out of our faucets. I whined to myself. I started to think, "Could it get worse?" and then realized that I'm a fool. Of course it could.. .and is all around the world. I don't have it bad here.

I'm writing this because it's reality and there are days that it is harder to be here. There are days that I think, "What the heck am I doing this year?!" And often times during that same day, I know why I'm here. It's as clear as it can be. Tonight I had a group of friends over and we talked about long-lasting Things and had great conversations. That's what I'm doing this year.


katester said...

You are being Thought about over here! Hopefully your package of goodies will get to you before 2008! (I even found what I believe would fit any long-torsoed gal) :)

Lucy said...

i know how you feel. ive been doing the same kind of stomping. i love that within the same day slash sentence, you know why you are there, just the same reasons why we are here. i stomped at work today too. it's been a rough one... but we shall live on girl. i read a book for class and it's a keeper. title:man's search for meaning. a good quote: "even the helpless victim of a hopeless situation, facing a ate he cannot change, maye rise above himself, may grow beyong himself and by doing so, change himself." enjoy.