clarity

I'd be lying if I said moving to China was a smooth transition. I've come to the realization that I was (and probably am) quite spoiled. I took for granted freedoms (to meet, speak, etc), air conditioner/heater capabilities, water coming out of a faucet, warm showers, soft couches and beds, internet access, etc. I assumed that life had those things. I didn't expect the staring (at us 'foreigners') or to be treated differently.

Today I had such a frustrating experience at the copy shop. A 5 minute service turned into a 35 minute test of my patience and levels of anger. I stomped in the copy shop like a spoiled American (no one noticed because they were staring at my face and speaking loudly in Chinese) but the point is that I stomped. I felt so much anger and hostility in that moment and longed to be back in America where I could be anonymous and warm and understood. I wanted a hot shower, down comforter and a soft bed. I wanted to be in a public place and understand the language, and I wanted to express my anger to the copy machine guy.

I got home and the internet was down and no water was coming out of our faucets. I whined to myself. I started to think, "Could it get worse?" and then realized that I'm a fool. Of course it could.. .and is all around the world. I don't have it bad here.

I'm writing this because it's reality and there are days that it is harder to be here. There are days that I think, "What the heck am I doing this year?!" And often times during that same day, I know why I'm here. It's as clear as it can be. Tonight I had a group of friends over and we talked about long-lasting Things and had great conversations. That's what I'm doing this year.