May 28, 2008

Beijing Blue Crayola Crayon

Dear Crayola Crayon Company,

I've been meaning to write you for quite sometime. There's a big problem in Chinese classrooms that I believe MUST be addressed. Children all over this vast country love to color and draw but their pictures are inconsistent with their surroundings. You see, when they pick out the "Sky Blue" crayon from their crisp yellow Crayola box, the color is nothing like the color they see out their window. This confuses the youth. It starts with confusion at the crayon box, and it's all downhill from there.

I suggest that you make a new crayon named "Beijing Blue". Only it won't be blue at all. Now, let me explain. It's going to take a mixture of black (for the coal in the air), with some dark gray (for the exhaust from the millions of cars). Last you'll need to add a bit of glowing yellow (for the fires, and the effect of the sun trying to get through the gray thickness).

With one in every four people in the world being Chinese, this is sure to be a 'best seller'. Kids all around China deserve to have a crayon in their box that they can use to color the skies of their pictures. Leaving "Sky Blue" as is, will only increase their longing for a distance land named 加利福尼亚 (Jialifuniya/California). Once they see the blue skies and (gasp!) sunsets, it'll be hard to get them to return. Like I said earlier, it's starts at the crayon box...

Yours Truly,
Disgruntled Californian/Beijing Resident

P.S. What's up with the pronunciation of your product? I say the one syllable "cran" like cranberry, but others say a two syllable version like "cray-on". What's your official stance on this?


Lucy said...

laughed sooo hard friend. one of my fav blogs ever!

Vince Garvey said...

seriously als, this one was clever. i appreciate your humor more now than ever. :-)

James Rosenberg said...

maybe your best post yet!!!

Anonymous said...

As a 30 something year old california who grew up in the valley, we too had this inconsistency. I recall the sky of my youth was a beigey yellow from all the pollution, much like what I saw today in Qingdao.

very funny writing.....just thought it is interesting how california has changed in one generation.