January 12, 2006
Yesterday I got some really ugly news...ugly is the best word I can come up with. I was emotionally hurt by someone that I barely knew, my father. I was pretty upset for a couple hours, my boss at Aveda sent me home early. I called my mom on the trolley home and she offered some pretty solid advice, but it didn't feel sufficient. I called Cynthia and she spoke a ton of truth into my life, reminding me about my character and what defines me. Good friends here in San Diego came along side me and hung out. Their presence was so nice, but I knew that the only thing that would help in how I felt- was to pray, to give it up.
Around 11pm last night I got home from a long walk with a friend, he went with me to throw a 'forgiveness letter' into the San Diego Bay. I laid down on my bed and didn't think, I just stared at the ceiling. I had that restless exhaustion of emotions, where all you want to do is fall asleep, but you can't. Then I prayed. I prayed about the way I felt, about how my future could be affected if I didn't let it go, about forgiveness, and about ultimately who I am.
I woke up this morning totally refreshed. I went to the gym and ran 3+ miles (I'm starting small and training for a marathon in June). I read a chapter of Revelation, showered and got ready for work, only to realize I'm not supposed to be in until 2pm today. I feel great and I realized that if I truly believe that the sick can be healed, the blind can see and the lame can walk, then I can also believe that I can make it out of some ugly news. I don't need to dwell on my father anymore, I have a lot to look forward to.